Because installing hook and eye latches would probably boost the level of security by 24%. But I kid.

People seem to really enjoy escaping from the Union County Jail these days, although the “Shawshank” guys got more than a wrist slap.

We’ll see if he was just on a Slurpee run and forgot his keys and cellphone.

UPDATE: He’s caught after a week. His own dad called the cops on him…guess he wasn’t goingto pony up any cash for rent.