Now THIS is something to get into a NIMBY lather about:

Fri Jan 7, 5:47 pm ET

UNION, N.J. – A man who claimed he was seeking the “portal to hell” repeatedly stabbed two women early Friday after they noticed misplaced items in their backyard and opened the door to a shed where he was staked out, law enforcement officials said.

A neighbor jumped a fence after hearing the women scream and hit their assailant, 25-year-old Morgan Mesz, in the head with a baseball bat, ending the attacks, authorities said.

The stabbings occurred at around 6 a.m. after the two women, ages 50 and 53, let their dog outside. They noticed contents of their shed strewn across the lawn, according to the Union County prosecutor’s office. The shed door, though, was closed.

Mesz, armed with a knife and hatchet, pounced on the pair after one woman opened the shed door, authorities said. Union Township Police Director Dan Zieser told the Star-Ledger of Newark that Mesz said he told them that he cleared out the shed as he sought the “portal to hell.”

Neighbor Hernan Agudelo heard the attack and subdued Mesz. The 33-year-old Agudelo suffered several stab wounds and was treated at a hospital and released Friday, the prosecutor’s office said. The dog was unharmed.

Yes, I know the dude is crazy. But what if he was onto something? Just think what that would do to property values. (Great location, close to schools, Train and express bus to NYC, seconds to GSP, minutes to 78 and NJ TPK…and only five miles from the portal to Hell….come enjoy the convenience of Cranford!)

But it wouldn’t be a major surprise if the portal to hell WAS here. You know and I know that if the question “if the portal to hell is in the USA, what state would be most likely to have it?  was polled nationally, we’d come in second to Washington, DC.

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